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The Real Dick Cheney
May I have your attention please. May I have your attention please !
Will the real Dick Cheney please stand up, Will the real dick Cheney please stand up !
Did they count all the votes in Florida yet ? Uh-oh, I think weíre gonna have a problem here.
You look like youíve never seen anyone steal an election before, we took it right off Al Gore. No one will ever no the real score. Even though we lost ďWísĒ the boss at least when he ainít souced.
Donít you all remember me I was the congressmen from Wyoming, you know where this is going.
Now, hereís the thing, weíre extreme right wing. Some of you even voted for us, ding-a-ling.
And Ronald Reagan says...nothing you idiots, Ronald Reagan canít even remember his own name. Itís a shame but heís always been pretty lame. Oh that Dick Cheney, Iím sick of him, why donít he give in, heíll never win. Well we did win bitch. Hey kids didnít you have fun during the Gulf War, wouldnít you like to have a couple more so I can make another big score. Or maybe we can go bomb China, Iíll be right behind ya. Like I was during Vietnam when I got five deferments. It beats internment Ė in a cemetery but donít worry, thereís no hurry, thereíll be plenty of people to bury.
So everyoneís worried about the environment, well Iím tired of it, Iíd like to set fire to it. Itís there for profit, so stop it, drop it. I voted against the safe water act, the clean water act and the older Americans act and you act like an ass thatís been smacked. What are you smoking crack ? Thatís right folks Iím back

 Iím Dick Cheney, the real Dick Cheney and all those other zanies, they just imitate me. So wonít the real Dick Cheney please stand up, please stand up, ,please stand up. Iím Dick Cheney, the real Dick Cheney and all those other zanies, they just imitate me. So wonít the real Dick Cheney please stand up, please stand up, please stand up.

 Remember Nelson Mandela, he was a nice fella. I voted to keep him locked in a cellar.  Now thatís all in the past, I donít even know why you asked. Maybe youíre mad because I voted against head start, did I tell you I got a bad heart. So what, you donít need a heart for the job I got. I really wanted to be President, you know, the White House resident. Youíd think my congressional record would have prevented it. Remember when I was Secretary of Defense and Bagdad got bombed and we captured Sadam ... Oh thatís right we never did get Sadam. Well heís just like Castro, he wonít last long.
 Donít worry about economics, Iím teaching the president with comics. He can be like his old man and stand there and vomit. I can still sell the soft soap like the war on dope. Iím surprised you all ainít chasing us around with rope.

Iím Dick Cheney, the real Dick Cheney and all those other zanies, they just imitate me. So wonít the real Dick Cheney please stand up, please stand up, ,please stand up. Iím Dick Cheney, the real Dick Cheney and all those other zanies, they just imitate me. So wonít the real Dick Cheney please stand up, please stand up, please stand up.