The Real Dick Cheney
May I have your attention please. May I have your attention please !
Will the real Dick Cheney please stand up, Will the real dick Cheney please stand up !
Did they count all the votes in Florida yet ? Uh-oh, I think we’re gonna have a problem here.
You look like you’ve never seen anyone steal an election before, we took it right off Al Gore. No one will ever no the real score. Even though we lost “W’s” the boss at least when he ain’t souced.
Don’t you all remember me I was the congressmen from Wyoming, you know where this is going.
Now, here’s the thing, we’re extreme right wing. Some of you even voted for us, ding-a-ling.
And Ronald Reagan says...nothing you idiots, Ronald Reagan can’t even remember his own name. It’s a shame but he’s always been pretty lame. Oh that Dick Cheney, I’m sick of him, why don’t he give in, he’ll never win. Well we did win bitch. Hey kids didn’t you have fun during the Gulf War, wouldn’t you like to have a couple more so I can make another big score. Or maybe we can go bomb China, I’ll be right behind ya. Like I was during Vietnam when I got five deferments. It beats internment – in a cemetery but don’t worry, there’s no hurry, there’ll be plenty of people to bury.
So everyone’s worried about the environment, well I’m tired of it, I’d like to set fire to it. It’s there for profit, so stop it, drop it. I voted against the safe water act, the clean water act and the older Americans act and you act like an ass that’s been smacked. What are you smoking crack ? That’s right folks I’m back

 I’m Dick Cheney, the real Dick Cheney and all those other zanies, they just imitate me. So won’t the real Dick Cheney please stand up, please stand up, ,please stand up. I’m Dick Cheney, the real Dick Cheney and all those other zanies, they just imitate me. So won’t the real Dick Cheney please stand up, please stand up, please stand up.

 Remember Nelson Mandela, he was a nice fella. I voted to keep him locked in a cellar.  Now that’s all in the past, I don’t even know why you asked. Maybe you’re mad because I voted against head start, did I tell you I got a bad heart. So what, you don’t need a heart for the job I got. I really wanted to be President, you know, the White House resident. You’d think my congressional record would have prevented it. Remember when I was Secretary of Defense and Bagdad got bombed and we captured Sadam ... Oh that’s right we never did get Sadam. Well he’s just like Castro, he won’t last long.
 Don’t worry about economics, I’m teaching the president with comics. He can be like his old man and stand there and vomit. I can still sell the soft soap like the war on dope. I’m surprised you all ain’t chasing us around with rope.

I’m Dick Cheney, the real Dick Cheney and all those other zanies, they just imitate me. So won’t the real Dick Cheney please stand up, please stand up, ,please stand up. I’m Dick Cheney, the real Dick Cheney and all those other zanies, they just imitate me. So won’t the real Dick Cheney please stand up, please stand up, please stand up.